If [Else] Return; [necessary glitch]

Angelic Goldsky

I like us. cute and nearly impossible. against all
the attempts of hardwire and algorithmic will, oceans,
planes, documents, we meet on a zoom meeting. &
I find you, specifically, in the corner of your screen.
I find your sleeves rolled up to a perfect 90
degrees. your arms. specifically, your veins,
though glitchy, seem to be cut from whatever
architect made trees or lungs. your tattoo says
queer futures with an accidental star of david.
somewhere, under your tattoos, the divine
miscalculation of you turned sacredly geometric.
an accidental shape was born, as unplanned
as the solar system. in less than a microsecond
the sliver of space where We became
Real opened up. a bloomed zoom conception—
an unexpected miracle, or maybe a matrix
glitch. the same one that made an atom
effortlessly move a whole globe and here
we are. born glitches. babies
of forgotten code. the trans bodies. empires left
behind because we didn’t come from a particular
place at all. what pulls me to you seems to have
happened under you. your records. the encyclopedia
in your spine. whatever lifetime lives beneath
the masterpieces of your broken skin. I, only
fearing the ease of it all, relieve my own
terror from my back into your hands. you hold
me in my collapse. say that my pain is also yours.
so much so, I do not have to calculate in which position
my body is most heavenly. I no longer
fuck on petri dishes. or memorize what I want
to say for ratios to grow at a socially required
pace. dear god god god I give in to the golden
malfunction of us I memorize the formula
for miracles miracles miracles struct {miracles (errors)
(failures_) (f_aults) (bools); (fail); (fail); break
downs I let this love happen again and (again);
and ( again); (again); again___again & ooh
it feels so good right there air} I witness
where suddenly two things become one: where
two lives create one new: as random as calculated:
as calculated as: atoms banging us into incandescence.
we mouth the reversal of extinguishment. we fuck
this union. blooming it. [[[ True ]]] we do not borrow
music. we break into sweats, unending.
which is to say we break entirely.
my mouth super glued to your transistors’
transcestors’ ancestors’ ancestors’ swimming
for us. we collapse effortlessly into in to in two
each other. so whole. finding our steam in a cave
of hot surrender. we bow to arithmetic un mastered
even by a SuperComputer or a God Algorithm.
I was full before you and now I am even more
full. dear god fill me I eat a delicious fruit
on this delightful bench. I am my baby’s baby’s baby’s
baby’s baby’s baby’s baby baby baby baby mother
mother mother mother mother mother-father I am
as safe as an equation. Return Divine Inner Child
Baby Else I am the unwound(ed) sand. the snow
falls perfectly on me in the hot ocean (tub). I am
begging for your cuddles. Return to bring you
closer closer closer closer close; geometric series
of close, never quite exactly perfectly of each other
always slightly off but I am safely getting
almost almost almost dear god god
god god god god my perfect
perfect perfect

glitch

Angelic Goldsky (t[he?]y) incants at the crossroads of poetry, performance, community imagining, media art and spiritual mercy. A queer and trans magician rooted in a diasporic lineage of Post-Soviet Jewish heritage, they are immersed in the uses of the poetic, music, and magic for transmuting complex trauma into rhythm, release, and ultimately, permanent liberation. Formerly the Poet in Residence at the Roundhouse Community Centre (2021), Angelic was shortlisted for the Canadian League of Poets Canadian Spoken Word Award (2024) and represented Canada in the LGBTQ+ showcase at the World Poetry Championship in Brussels (2022).